Belinda’s Face

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This year Belinda Stronach, former Newmarket-Aurora MP and former President and CEO of Magna turns the big 5-0.

A Finacial Post advertisement article that ran this past week that Stronach has apparently stumbled upon the fountain of youth, serendipitous for someone who has consumed the better part of half a century manufacturing and exploiting a youthful image.

The Financial Post piece closes with Stronach stating “I love manufacturing” and there’s nothing like manufacturing insecurity in women aging naturally.

With promises of more naturopathic products to come Belinda’s current offering is outlined as a protein powder complete with a price tag of $200/month.

If we cost this out weekly does this mean that $50 is the new 30?

To return to looking that age Kiss’ Gene Simmons, who’s in his mid 60’s, looks like he could use at least 50 years worth of this magical powder.  If you recall back in 2008 Stronach partnered up with Simmons who at the time claimed that, unlike Canadian music labels, he alone knew how to make things happen.

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Here is a message from Stronach about the spotlight she was going to help shine on the clueless Canadian Music scene:

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So convinced he was “The Way” Simmons lashed out in a RollingStone piece.  But it looks like those dismissed as haters may have been right to question Simmons’ path as Simmons Records hasn’t produced any Canadian acts of substance.  Its website is now defunct with the internet archive showing the last post made on June of 2014.

Oh, and that “coincidental Canadian talent development company” that Stronach was a silent partner in appears to have been all of one person whose Linked-In profile shows the towel being thrown in as of January of 2010.

The really interesting connection between Simmons and Stronach is the promotional work done on Frank Stronach’s energy drink.  Yes, like his daughter Stronach Sr. has also pimped out an energy product:

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Back in 2008 a RedBull knock-off named Frank’s, complete with skimpily dressed blonde girls, a Reality TV show and appearances by Gene Simmons had a plan to climb to the 2nd or 3rd top brand in under a year displacing Monster and Rockstar.  Don’t take my word for it, listen to the company’s secret ingredient, intern Matt:

Somewhere along the way of Rock-n-rolling all night long and partying every day the energy behind Frank’s energy drink fizzled out.  Another thing that even the almighty Gene Simmons couldn’t make happen.

Where Simmons may have been seen as a fit for Frank he is problematic for Belinda considering he’s had to issue a recent apology for disparaging comments he made about depression and suicide.

Stronach considers herself a philanthropist, and amongst her pursuits has recently opened a women’s shelter emblazoned with her name where no doubt women are facing depression first hand.

If Age Quencher powder truly provides the benefits of increased energy as Stronach claims then surely it is being made available to the women who seek out refuge Belinda’s Place.  Anything less comes off as a slap in the face considering the Financial Post piece claims it was given free to 30 women Stronach’s outfit considered “influencers”.

Where Stronach starts out the Financial Post piece “On a very, like, superficial level, you know” leaves one struggling to find evidence of any other levels.

Especially when she takes the opportunity to weigh in on an aspect of her life which has no bearing on her new miracle powder:  “I’m totally single. You can put it out there.”

Take a good look at her and then ask yourself if she is or isn’t Aurora’s very own Paris Hilton.

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